Wake

The church smelled like dust and old people with a faint undertone of dying flowers. The pews were hard wood without any cushion. Junie sat to the side, with the family, where she could see everybody cough. It hadn’t been intentional, but she didn’t feel comfortable sitting in the midst of them. She sat with Kristina’s husband and two kids, who looked like you’d expect them to look. Her husband was red-eyed and shaking. The kids Alex – the youngest didn’t understand yet, of course, and Jenny’s mascara was running on her fourteen-year-old face.

The preacher was an old white man who kept calling her Kristine. Everything he said about her was wrong, from her being a practicing member of the congregation to her relying on the community. Kristina never relied on anybody. If he’d seen her in the street, he wouldn’t have said hi. She would be missed, though.

What he wasn’t saying was the most important thing. The fact that she was dead because she couldn’t afford to get a kidney transplant or the meds that would keep her going. These people who were sitting there looking sad could’ve saved her. They wanted it like this, or they were too profoundly stupid to make the connection. They demonstrated it every time they voted or sat in church.

When he’d finished rambling, they started the music. Junie had picked it out, for her best friend. As “You’re My Best Friend,” by Queen started playing, all these gray heads perked up and looked around. Their expressions were classic. Junie couldn’t keep herself from smiling, and when “Fly to the Angels” by Slaughter started, she saw red faces. Kristina would’ve laughed her ass off. It didn’t make her feel better, but it made her stop hurting for just a few minutes.